Captivate Podcast: How Francine Juhlin Builds Confident Kids and Empowered Parents Through Story | EP033

Hi everyone. I want to welcome you to our podcast. Today, I'm acting as a featured podcaster at an event called patapalooza, which has just been a blast, and I met some really talented, wonderful people, and Francine Juhlin is one of them, so she's going to talk a bit to us about let's see what Francine has to say about her storied career.

Well my career started at 18 when I joined the Navy and I became an aircraft electrician, and I enjoyed it so much that after getting my degree in electronics and working as a manufacturing engineer for a while, well, I missed the military, so I joined the Army and ended up in Iraq. And after returning from Iraq, I got very unhealthy, because I had all of these bad habits that I use to make myself more comfortable. So I gained a bunch of weight. I got very unhealthy. I took a bunch of medication until my liver started to fail, and right around the same amount period of time, I was also getting ready to retire, and I was thinking, can I afford to retire? What will I do my whole identity as a female aircraft electrician, so I had this whole identity crisis going on, and that's when I jumped into this whole personal development self help world. And I absolutely loved it. That's

a great transition. So from taking care of equipment to taking care of people and teaching them about self care was a really great move for you, because you look really healthy today. So I'm happy to see that was the result, and I know that in times like these that we're facing now, and with all the difficulties that kids have to face, we often follow Mr. Rogers advice to look for the helpers, right, right. Tell us a bit about how your your book series and your other activities are helping children today.

Well, from the standpoint of a holistic health coach and a public speaking coach, I recognized that the majority of the habits My clients were breaking were result of negative childhood programming. That's when I took my self help book that I wrote for adults and decided to turn it into a children's book series, because my mission is to help parents raise strong and confident kids today so we don't have to fix broken adults later. Wouldn't it be great if we don't have to go to a bookstore and see half of that bookstore self help books on how to fix yourself. If we could raise kids with the positive mindset, without the limiting beliefs, and with the confidence to succeed, we wouldn't even need this whole self help industry. So my goal is to catch the children before Middle School, because that's where we start losing them. That's where they start wanting to be like everyone else. That's when all the peer pressure starts. That's when kids really need that strong sense of self esteem and the confidence to say, I'm me, I'm happy with me, and I can do it. Yeah,

it's it sounds like you took your own storyline and created a whole new world for yourself out of that, can you talk a bit about the importance of story in what you're doing for for young people? Now this

goes back to my first self help book, the first one I wrote, I was still in that academic mindset of doctoral studies, and it almost read as a dissertation. It almost read as an academic paper. It was boring. And then I discovered that I put the same information into a fairy tale, and people wanted to read it. People really started identifying with the characters. People understood what I was saying because I wasn't preaching. They were just putting themselves into the story. Well, kids feel the same way. They don't want to be told what to do. They want to be entertained and get a message from the entertainment. So that's what my whole children's program is about, entertaining the kids with a message. Yeah,

I think. Was a message early in literature, when people started moving away from scientific tracks and the Bible and writing stories, the idea was to entertain and educate at the same time, if possible. And sometimes we seem to have gotten a little away from that, but they say we are hardwired for story. So could you share one of your favorite characters with us? I know you have a couple of inventions, and I'd love to hear a little bit more about them.

Well, sparkle feathers came to me in a meditation, and he's the one who gave me this mission to talk to the children. Now, sparkle feathers and Princess Francie. Now, Princess Francie is my inner child, and a lot of the story of the magic library is things that I went through in childhood. For instance, Princess Francie goes to this magical camp where sparkle feathers helps the children develop self esteem, and it starts with the meditation and self reflection. Well, they go through the magic column mirrors Princess Francie sees herself balling off a horse and getting a scar on her face, which is the reason sparkle feathers took her to the camp in the first place because she was afraid of going to school with the scar. But then she walks down and in another mirror, she sees in third grade where she sat on a tack and all the kids made fun of her because she was fat. And then she sees her messy bedroom that her mom used to always tell her to clean up. Well, that messy bedroom was the brain before meditation, then sparkle feathers and his magical forest creatures come in and help Princess Francie clean the mind so everything was neatly organized in its right place and she could reach out and grab the book that gives her the knowledge that she needs at that moment in time, that book and knowledge she couldn't find with all that crazy stuff going on in her mind. So this is a lesson of gaining self esteem and and positive self image, but it's also an introduction to meditation for children.

So that's interesting. You could, I mean, you could have said all those things in a very preachy step by step. Here's how to get a new mindset way, but by putting that story in the mirrors, all those different reflections of self around it, that makes it so much more appealing and something that we really want to listen to. So I'm really glad that you, you summarized those stories for us, and I know that you have, you have some other programs up your sleeves, some other things that you want to do to make sure we have those we won't have those broken adults anymore. Could you talk some more about how those work? Yes, I

have the confidence club for kids, which is housed in my website to keep the kids off of social media, and in this container that I call the playground, the kids could watch science videos with interactive projects we'll be doing. I'll be doing science projects that the kids could help with or emulate, and then they could send their results and be in the newsletter, The Princess Francie newsletter. I also have networking for children, where we go into my Zoom Room, and in the first one, we watched the video of Princess Francie getting new glasses. Because I remember losing my first pair of glasses when I was in the fourth grade because it wasn't cool and I didn't want everyone to see me wearing my glasses. So I got on the bus at the end of the day, I took my glasses off and they were gone. And you know, when I do my speaking, I the first thing i How many people lost glasses when they were a kid? And then not only does everybody raise their hand, but then I get three more, and my granddaughter did, and my child did, and it's just common because they don't think it's cool. So we watch the video Princess Francie picking out her glasses, and then we talk about things that make us feel different, and why being different is cool. So this is an interactive group experience where the kids could see that other kids feel the same way. They're not all alone. This

is great now, since my audience are probably going to be more adults in the caregiving zone, and they may be parents, What should parents know about using these materials? What's important for them to remember? The

most important thing is to have fun with the kids. So. And I want to address this as a parent who is a caregiver, you are probably at your wit's end trying to get everything done for everybody else. Remember, and I use this analogy, this is my glass. This is mine. I drink it all. I can't give any of my glass away until it's overflowing and spilling out. And this is a lesson for caregivers. So if you are a caregiver for your parents, say, and you have children, make sure that you're giving to yourself first so it could spill out onto the rest, and make sure your children get some of that from you, so they could fill their cups too. So the confidence club for kids is a healthy programming that they could view and interact with, rather than sitting and just watching TV with this mindless junk that they're watching today. And then, when you get yourself filled up, see what your kid is doing and interact with them, because you can forget that that is going to give back to you too.

So important. And I love the way you explain these things, the metaphors you're using and not being able to you can't pour from an empty cup is the basis for what you're talking about there. But I have to tell you, when I was being a caregiver, I never thought the whole glass was mine. I never looked at it that way. And it took me so long to figure out that if I didn't have anything in there, I really wasn't giving anything to anybody else. So that that's a really important thing to underscore, and I'm so glad that you did that. Is there anything in in the life of the aircraft electrician that helped you to do this, this new, reinvented life that you have now? What do you carry away from that?

Well, when I was in Iraq, I was a squad leader of five young men. So when I remember being a leader in the military, which is not very inclusive, you especially in a war zone, you have to do things that need to be done. We have helicopters. They have to fly tonight. We have to get the job done, but I also had to remember that they were adults and that they were human beings, so I couldn't expect them to constantly do a job unless I was taking care of their personal needs too. So parents, who are caregivers, don't think that you have to do everything for your child because your child wants to help you too. Remember that they are little people that they're not going to break if they don't have the best if they don't have the latest video game, if you don't give them the everything that they want, remember that it's your time and attention. So what's more important than giving them the greatest, newest toy, or making sure they have what you didn't have when you were kids, is making sure that you have that interaction with them.

Do you think this is something you learned from on the job or life experience, or is this something that's always been in you?

Yeah, I would imagine sometimes in the military, you end up re parenting people who may not have learned some of those important life skills in middle school when they were supposed to right? Yeah. Now I'm seeing a really good loop between the books that you're putting out now and this this prior experience, but I think you're right. You had it before you ever joined either of those activities. It that idea of forging a team by teaching people to pick up the slack when some people can't, because everybody can't be everywhere all the time, and that's an important lesson to learn anywhere in life, whether you're in the military or teaching school so well,

and parents can learn part of this by not shielding their children from what's going on and making them a part of the team, right?

Yeah, and if you give them everything, as you said, that's not necessarily going to be the outcome that you get, because then they think everybody's supposed to give them everything, and that may not happen, like mistake, like that. So let's remind everybody where we can connect with you, to make sure that people get in touch with you and join your community. So I'll turn it over to you to give us some resources. Now,

my website is personal change warriors.com and please join my newsletter. The first activity for the children is making their own superhero, designing their own superhero. So that's just a really fun activity that you could do with your child. And guess what? Parents are learning things about their kids they never knew. So it's a very good interactive lesson for both of you. And then I also highlight other children's book authors and their books and other children's programs I find that are really cool, that are resources for parents. And then I always have live events. I have networking for children, where they could come in and we talk about something going on in the world, or some science project we did in the confidence club for kids. So there's all types of activities and interaction that I put out for the kids. And the newsletter gives parents ways to connect with the kids. With this content,

all of these sound terrific, and I'm certainly going to make sure to put these into the show notes so everyone will have those to take away. And I'd like to close by saying the one of the things I'm taking away from our conversation is how important it is to play with the people around you make sure that you have that fun, because those endorphins are priceless when you want to teach a good lesson. And please share your stories with your kids and listen to some of theirs so. Francine Julian, thanks for being my guest today. It was really a delight to speak with you. Thank you

so much for having me.